When you want to start a conversation with a fine lady, you’d want to try to read (and learn from) this article. Many conversations start way before we mutter some words; they begin with our appearance, gestures, smells. Body language is essential, so pay close attention to how you gesticulate away. Moreover, think about eye contact. It seems self-evident, but many men get nervous and look down when they meet a woman’s eyes.
Make eye contact, and by all means, smile before looking away.
Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP offers valuable insights regarding conversations with women. You can make another person see you in a positive light. To do this, use positive words and try to convey any negative narratives about your experience as positively as possible. Focus on how much you learned from them and how they helped you advance in life, rather than underline what a loser you are.
Another helpful NLP practice is mirroring. It doesn’t mean bluntly copying everything your vis-a-vis does. You need to pick out certain gestures, speech tempo, breathing, vocabulary, and facial expressions and delicately mimic them. If you are subtle enough, the woman will not notice that, but subconsciously she will feel like she knows you. Therefore, she can trust you.
When you are start a conversation, remember to look into her eyes and not ogle her body.
Come up with several conversation starters. Choose topics you feel confident enough talking about. No one enjoys the awkward silence, so, as a man, you are always responsible for keeping the conversation flowing. Having several topics on your hands will also help you figure out what she is interested in. Once you’ve established that original interest, you can move on to other topics.
Also, don’t forget about the norms of cultural behavior applicable to all human beings:
- Listen to her without interruptions.
- Fight your urge to speak over her
- Be polite and respectful
- Rephrase negative statements
- Control the volume of your voice
- Don’t impose yourself on the conversation
Build an emotional connection when start a conversation
When both you and the lady you met are looking for a one-night stand, stars will align because you two know exactly what you want. Such kind of an extremely short-term relationship doesn’t require much emotional connection. However, it usually takes 1-3 dates for a woman to decide whether she wants to sleep with you. Here, establishing an emotional connection is crucial.
Having good communication skills and knowing how to converse is vital if you want to build an emotional connection with women.
The first strategy is straightforward: you need to let the woman talk as much as she wants. This way, she will feel that you care and understand her. It is the fastest way of establishing an emotional connection. Ask her questions rather than flood her with the stories from your life. No matter how cool and exciting they are. Let her feel that she is crucial, and you see her. Hopefully, you are genuinely curious. Otherwise, why would you want to sleep with the woman you don’t care about? Is the endeavor even worth it then? If it is, the emotional connection will take you much further than intellectual or logical ones.
You can open up to a woman but don’t get too sappy because she might see you as weak.
Building emotional connection is not difficult, you just have to start a conversation. Ask your woman not only the “what” questions but also the “why” ones. Wonder about the things she likes and feels passionate about. You want to build up the passion before you have sex. Talking about any other kind of passion does that. When your lady opens up, you want to do the same — share your experiences, hopes and dreams, and motivation attached to them. Sharing is reciprocal. As we learn these things about each other, we can assess what kind of relationship we are likely to pursue: friendship, romance, or a one-night stand.
Did you know? By sharing your emotional experiences, you can show that you are also vulnerable. Not whiny, but capable of being vulnerable.
Move on to establishing a physical connection
You have built your body, put on clean clothes, and thought of great conversation starters. Your woman liked everything you have to offer, and you two have formed an emotional bond. But it is not the time to make love to her yet. You want to create a physical connection. In this chapter, we will consider a technique called “anchoring.”
The goal of anchoring, or emotional anchoring as it is often called, is to create a trigger that’s attached to an emotion in the woman.
Your goal is to produce a positive image of yourself so that every time she remembers about it, she smiles. Anchor the good thoughts of you by slightly touching her hand, knee, or shoulder every time you make her laugh. It works this way: every time she experiences positive emotions, she will also think about your touch. Congratulations, you have established both emotional and physical bonds.
You can use anchoring when talking about sexual topics. Caress your woman lightly, and she will gradually get used to your touch and it will become natural for her. Moreover, the idea of sex and actual physical contact will start growing into a whole.
No matter how well you start a conversation, your woman has her personal space, and you need to respect that.
One more thing: you’ve made a joke, she is laughing, you slightly touch her elbow… Look her in the eyes for a little while and smile back before looking elsewhere. This eye contact can be compelling. If she goes for it, she already trusts you and is interested in taking it further. This “further” does not necessarily refer to sex. Perhaps, she is interested in you as a person. That’s good as well because genuine interest in you can work miracles!
Emotional anchoring works both for a long-term romance and casual relationship. The girl you chose will associate pleasant things with your persona. In turn, it will boost your confidence.
Neediness undercuts all your efforts
There is a fine balance between paying attention to your woman, showing interest in what she likes, and being needy. As soon as she realizes that you give all your attention to her, she will experience an immediate turnoff.
Neediness and desperation work hand in hand: they both make you look weak.
Here is how you recognize the signs of neediness:
+ You want all of her time and attention dedicated to you.
+ Stalking her on social media, checking her stories, geotags, and timelines.
+ You swamp her with grand gestures, not realizing that there’s a limit on that stuff-You try to spend all of your time with her.
It makes you look like a person who has no life of his own. No one is interested in people like that.
If you want to make sure that you are not overly needy, be willing to do the following:
You can keep down the neediness by considering the following advice:
Keep your personal space, both of you. Use what you have to your benefit and let your partner have freedom too. You don’t have to know where she is and what she is doing all the time.
Go by your own goals. If you don’t have them yet, it is time to find the purpose. The one for just you, not your woman or anybody else. Having a goal makes you feel more confident, and others see it too.
Trust her. Cheated on in the past, many men find it hard to trust a new woman in their lives. If you are one of those men, you need to make peace with being cheated on again. Nobody’s immune. However, learning to trust another person will lower the chances of her cheating on you.
Continue to build your confidence. Focus on doing things you want for yourself. When we allow ourselves to get busy with what we like, we feel stronger and generally maintain a more positive outlook on life.
Having read this article, you probably understand now that to start a conversation with a good flirt also starts with a confident man. Every kind of relationship — one-night stand, temporary, or long-term romance — stands a chance owing to male confidence. Luckily, we are not born with a fixed “amount” of confidence; you can build it up as you progress through life. To do this, you should start with your appearance. When you know that your body is nearly irresistible, your face is clean and well-groomed, and your clothes are neat and suit you, you will already feel much better inside.
Start A Conversation today!
To extend your potential, you need to find a purpose for yourself, establish your boundaries, and pursue doing what you like and benefit from, rather than what society expects from you. Having done that, you can start conversing with different kinds of women to get used to the way they are. The more non-sexual contacts with them you have, the less you will be nervous around that one woman you’ll choose to sleep with.
Before approaching the “object” of your desire, observe her behavior for a while and think of different conversation starters. Choose the topics where you know what to talk about because keeping the conversation going is also your unwritten responsibility. As you speak to her, show genuine interest in what she has to say. Your goal is to make her the center of your endeavor. Make her feel wanted on different levels: emotional, mental, and physical. Consider your efforts one extended foreplay. In the end, you will see it was worth it!
Talking to each other, we learn what kind of people we are. We assess our chances of being together as the conversation ends. Active listening will help you improve your communication skills.
Choose 3 women to talk to this week. Find them in different settings (library, pub, grocery store). They don’t have to arouse your sexual interest.
As she tells you about something important for her, make sure to ask her why it is important.
Ask her how she feels about this subject and why. Always ask the “why” question.
When she finishes her story, try to rephrase everything she said in your own words. She will feel that you care and understand her.